It's Just You and Me

I seriously want to put a brick on Magdala's
head so she doesn't get any taller. :(

I recently shared on Facebook about how God has been making he aware of idols in my life. Like a smack in the face, He forced me to confront the incredible amount of time, emotion, and spiritual space I had allowed it to take. Coming to Haiti, I never thought God would bring me to my knees and reveal these kinds of things to me here. Maybe I thought doing mission work would mean I would be in some sort of spiritual bubble? But there is no place the enemy will fight harder than when God's will is being manifested in your life. I know I am supposed to be here. Nothing has ever been more apparent or clear. However, I was letting myself get caught up in emotions and worries that were distracting me from my purpose here and just generally making me constantly question myself. I recently asked God for a biiiiiiigggg dose of "get over it" and through prayer, I believe I got it! The dilemma is, how long will it last? I need continual reminders that we must take life literally day by day and sometimes only hour by hour, especially in unpredictable Haiti. I am so thankful, encouraged, but not at all surprised by the fact that God turned what I thought was going to be something incredibly hard to shake into exactly what I asked Him for. I am amazed, as always, that God can use someone as frail and broken as myself to accomplish His work.

I recently fell in love with the song, "Only You" by the David Crowder Band. It was the song we sang at church on Sunday and the words convicted me of my recent disconnect with God. God had not gone anyway. I had placed a barricade between us, reaching for something that wasn't right for me. The words to the song say, "And I will worship You Lord, only You Lord. And I will bow down to you Lord, Only You Lord." Our heart's desire should be for God to come first always. Before work, family, jobs, relationships, fears, hobbies, even ministry work. The bridge of the song, I guess, says "It's just You and me here now." I love the imagery of these words. An empty room, just myself and God, in total intimate worship. No matter whose around or if you are alone, worship is the relationship between you and whatever or whomever you are placing first in your life. But also, it reminds me that in the end, this life is all about two people. In the end, when you take everything, everyone else away, IT IS JUST YOU AND GOD. That's it! No matter how many people I love, friends I have, all of it can be taken in a second. Don't we want this eternal relationship that can't be taken away to be all that it can be? Why do we resist giving God all of our affection, time, and devotion? I think of this quote often, "Want to know where your heart lies? Look to where your mind goes when it wanders." I think, when I space out during the day, who or what am I thinking of??? This can be a very convicting exercise and one that brought me to tears recently. Why do we spend so much time thinking, worrying, and stressing about people, things, relationships, problems, etc. that do not really matter?! I don't think I will ever know that answer. I do know, like I said earlier, that the enemy uses these devices to distract us from God's will for our lives. We find ourselves totally disconnected, emotionally and physically, from the work God has laid out for us to do. 

I say all that to say this. We often are faced with our most challenging and most difficult circumstances when we are on the edge of something incredibly important. I can only chalk this most recent development in my spiritual walk as preparation for great things God is currently preparing me for in the near future. God is faithful and He will fulfill His purpose for me. :)

I stole Jovenel and Carmel to help me make banana puddin' last Saturday night. It was sooooo good. I love these moments the most. :)

The Gummy Worm experiment that didn't go according to plan because of the lack of a climate controlled room. The heat caused the gummy worms to dissolve instead of expanding like they were supposed to. I hope all my experiments don't go wrong like this one did. On the bright side, I taught them how to use a triple beam balance. :)

Okay, now to what's going on in Haiti. Summer school is more than half way over and I have been so blessed by the things that have been happening in my class. My friend Denise arrived last week, after a rough first day, we have settled into a groove and I love love love love her! She has been such a blessing in helping this high school biology teacher teach English in a four hour block! We said goodbye last week to our teacher professional development class in the afternoon. I loved hearing the  teachers read and have such an excitement for improving their teaching skills and their English. The reminded me that I really need to start getting better at my Creole. :) I'm completely surrounded by people that know three or four times the languages I do! Talk about a reality check for the old ego??? ;) 

Our Haitian teacher class playing a scrabble-like game. 

Our latest experiment, after the gummy worm flop, exhibiting diffusion and osmosis by soaking an egg in various substances. Maybe the heat won't mess this one up! 

I have also been enjoying spending time with the children at their new home down the street. They are settling in like a family now and learning how to adjust to living in this new situation. With so many wonderful people here for summer school, this is happening very smoothly and efficiently. We are blessed that God brought the right people here to help our kids become comfortable with this new life adjustment. 

Last Friday, we made Acid-Base rockets by filling film canisters with vinegar and Alka-Seltzer tablets. They. loved. them. I am just totally in love wtih how much fun they had. It was a great way to end a week of summer school.

Movie night at the children's home involved making stove-top popcorn. The movie of the night was one of my favorites....Finding Nemo. ;)

I mentioned before about God answering prayer concerns of mine. I can already see myself as the recipient of something that has gnawed at me since I arrived. My independence. God has afforded me a recent dose of confidence to go out and learn how to do things like going to the store and different places on my own, on public transportation. I haven't done it yet, totally by myself, but I feel His hand moving in this area, giving me opportunies and again, confidence, to have more autonomy in Haiti. 

I am going to stop with this post for now. Let me leave you with this quote from a devotion my friend, Tammy, reads to me frequently, because she apparently thinks I need to hear it! ;) 

"If the greatest character of all time, even He who was the very touchstone of destiny, could be made perfect only through suffering, is it not probable that you and I must also?....Take the hardest thing in your life—the place of difficulty, outward or inward, and expect God to triumph gloriously in that very spot. Just there He can bring your soul into blossom."

<3

Ashleigh

"I sought The Lord and He answered me, He delivered me from all my fears." 

Psalm 34:4