It's Just You and Me

I seriously want to put a brick on Magdala's
head so she doesn't get any taller. :(

I recently shared on Facebook about how God has been making he aware of idols in my life. Like a smack in the face, He forced me to confront the incredible amount of time, emotion, and spiritual space I had allowed it to take. Coming to Haiti, I never thought God would bring me to my knees and reveal these kinds of things to me here. Maybe I thought doing mission work would mean I would be in some sort of spiritual bubble? But there is no place the enemy will fight harder than when God's will is being manifested in your life. I know I am supposed to be here. Nothing has ever been more apparent or clear. However, I was letting myself get caught up in emotions and worries that were distracting me from my purpose here and just generally making me constantly question myself. I recently asked God for a biiiiiiigggg dose of "get over it" and through prayer, I believe I got it! The dilemma is, how long will it last? I need continual reminders that we must take life literally day by day and sometimes only hour by hour, especially in unpredictable Haiti. I am so thankful, encouraged, but not at all surprised by the fact that God turned what I thought was going to be something incredibly hard to shake into exactly what I asked Him for. I am amazed, as always, that God can use someone as frail and broken as myself to accomplish His work.

I recently fell in love with the song, "Only You" by the David Crowder Band. It was the song we sang at church on Sunday and the words convicted me of my recent disconnect with God. God had not gone anyway. I had placed a barricade between us, reaching for something that wasn't right for me. The words to the song say, "And I will worship You Lord, only You Lord. And I will bow down to you Lord, Only You Lord." Our heart's desire should be for God to come first always. Before work, family, jobs, relationships, fears, hobbies, even ministry work. The bridge of the song, I guess, says "It's just You and me here now." I love the imagery of these words. An empty room, just myself and God, in total intimate worship. No matter whose around or if you are alone, worship is the relationship between you and whatever or whomever you are placing first in your life. But also, it reminds me that in the end, this life is all about two people. In the end, when you take everything, everyone else away, IT IS JUST YOU AND GOD. That's it! No matter how many people I love, friends I have, all of it can be taken in a second. Don't we want this eternal relationship that can't be taken away to be all that it can be? Why do we resist giving God all of our affection, time, and devotion? I think of this quote often, "Want to know where your heart lies? Look to where your mind goes when it wanders." I think, when I space out during the day, who or what am I thinking of??? This can be a very convicting exercise and one that brought me to tears recently. Why do we spend so much time thinking, worrying, and stressing about people, things, relationships, problems, etc. that do not really matter?! I don't think I will ever know that answer. I do know, like I said earlier, that the enemy uses these devices to distract us from God's will for our lives. We find ourselves totally disconnected, emotionally and physically, from the work God has laid out for us to do. 

I say all that to say this. We often are faced with our most challenging and most difficult circumstances when we are on the edge of something incredibly important. I can only chalk this most recent development in my spiritual walk as preparation for great things God is currently preparing me for in the near future. God is faithful and He will fulfill His purpose for me. :)

I stole Jovenel and Carmel to help me make banana puddin' last Saturday night. It was sooooo good. I love these moments the most. :)

The Gummy Worm experiment that didn't go according to plan because of the lack of a climate controlled room. The heat caused the gummy worms to dissolve instead of expanding like they were supposed to. I hope all my experiments don't go wrong like this one did. On the bright side, I taught them how to use a triple beam balance. :)

Okay, now to what's going on in Haiti. Summer school is more than half way over and I have been so blessed by the things that have been happening in my class. My friend Denise arrived last week, after a rough first day, we have settled into a groove and I love love love love her! She has been such a blessing in helping this high school biology teacher teach English in a four hour block! We said goodbye last week to our teacher professional development class in the afternoon. I loved hearing the  teachers read and have such an excitement for improving their teaching skills and their English. The reminded me that I really need to start getting better at my Creole. :) I'm completely surrounded by people that know three or four times the languages I do! Talk about a reality check for the old ego??? ;) 

Our Haitian teacher class playing a scrabble-like game. 

Our latest experiment, after the gummy worm flop, exhibiting diffusion and osmosis by soaking an egg in various substances. Maybe the heat won't mess this one up! 

I have also been enjoying spending time with the children at their new home down the street. They are settling in like a family now and learning how to adjust to living in this new situation. With so many wonderful people here for summer school, this is happening very smoothly and efficiently. We are blessed that God brought the right people here to help our kids become comfortable with this new life adjustment. 

Last Friday, we made Acid-Base rockets by filling film canisters with vinegar and Alka-Seltzer tablets. They. loved. them. I am just totally in love wtih how much fun they had. It was a great way to end a week of summer school.

Movie night at the children's home involved making stove-top popcorn. The movie of the night was one of my favorites....Finding Nemo. ;)

I mentioned before about God answering prayer concerns of mine. I can already see myself as the recipient of something that has gnawed at me since I arrived. My independence. God has afforded me a recent dose of confidence to go out and learn how to do things like going to the store and different places on my own, on public transportation. I haven't done it yet, totally by myself, but I feel His hand moving in this area, giving me opportunies and again, confidence, to have more autonomy in Haiti. 

I am going to stop with this post for now. Let me leave you with this quote from a devotion my friend, Tammy, reads to me frequently, because she apparently thinks I need to hear it! ;) 

"If the greatest character of all time, even He who was the very touchstone of destiny, could be made perfect only through suffering, is it not probable that you and I must also?....Take the hardest thing in your life—the place of difficulty, outward or inward, and expect God to triumph gloriously in that very spot. Just there He can bring your soul into blossom."

<3

Ashleigh

"I sought The Lord and He answered me, He delivered me from all my fears." 

Psalm 34:4

One Month Gone....

Youvelande, Jeffly, and Kervenson enjoying their fan spray toy thingy. It's hot in Haiti!

Gazpacho is doing well and loves his Haitian mango. 

I have officially been in Haiti for a month yesterday! I can't say every day has been good, but I have been blessed along the way and know every trial I face brings me closer to Christ and to being the person he designed for me to be. As usual, I do not have a day by day account of the days since my last post, but I will try and share as many highlights as I can remember.

Last Tuesday, I believe, I had the opportunity to visit what we call "Sisters of Charity". This is a hospital associated with Mother Teresa's ministry. The hospital is located about 15 minutes from CLS, walking distance. The hospital is designed to help malnourished children become healthy again in a setting where mothers and fathers may still visit the child. Visitors are allowed to help each day with feeding the babies there. There are basically three rooms, each with around twenty five cribs in them. Most of the babies look the way you would assume a malnourished baby would look. Most were did not look the age they were due to sickness or malnutrition. The staff of the hospital prepares a porridge type mixture, which actually smelled really sweet and pretty good if you ask me, to feed to the babies. We are allowed to go into the rooms and to pick up, hold, and love on the babies as much as we wanted. Upon entering the room with the babies that "were showing signs of improvement", I was immediately drawn to a beaming, almost two year-old boy named Redando. Oh my goodness, was he precious. I held him the entire time I was there, probably over an hour. I just could not bear to put him down because when you did, he would cry. :(  Feeding him was such a blessing to me and something I enjoyed doing. It reminded me of how lucky I was to have a mother and father who were able to take care of me. So many children in Haiti and in the world do not. I prayed for him and continue to think about him daily. My heart wants to see him again when I go back to "Sisters", as we call it. However, I dearly would love if he was well and able to go back home to his family. If you ever visit CLS or Port-au-Prince, you should make time to stop by this ministry. I had never experienced anything like it before.

On Tuesday, after I was sick, I got to go to the Apparent Project. They have the best tropical smoothies and it is one of my "happy places" in Haiti. The artisans have a special place in my heart because they helped me get to Haiti.

This week has been busy busy busy with summer school! My first day did not start off so well, as I woke up sick and was in bed all day. :( Gladly though, I was able to rest well Monday night and teach Tuesday and the rest of the week. I am teaching English to a class of 12 sixth and seventh grade students. The overall goal of summer school at CLS this year is to improve the English of the students in the upper grades (6-11). We are learning lots of vocabulary, practicing grammar, and reading James and the Giant Peach. I'm trying to incorporate science in as much as I can, however, it's more challenging that I thought to do this. I taught my students what a "Bucket List" was and we completed those. They made the greatest lists! Most wanted to glorify God, take care of their families, change Haiti, and one students even wanted to meet his grandson! I also made my first bucket list, which was actually harder and more depressing than I thought it would be. :)

Four of my girls and their James and the Giant Peach advertisement.

A typical school lunch at CLS. 

I really do teach a good group of students though. They are extremely smart and speak English well. It is only the first week and I am already running out of steam since I'm not teaching in the usual environment that I am used to. However, my help from the Lord arrived today! Denise, a kindergarten teacher, with much more experience teaching ready arrived in Haiti today and I am anxious to work with her in planning rich, engaging lessons for the class.

I was so happy to be better on Tuesday! It was too hard being sick in bed all day. I missed the kids!

It was also a little bummed out day today because I lost my two awesome teaching assistants, Megan and Kathleen. They were so much help to me and even had to fill in and teach on the first day because I was laid up in bed. I will miss them so much, but am thrilled that Kelsey, who I met last summer, is here to help me for the remainder of summer school! She is a sweetheart, just like her mother Tammy.

My teaching assistants, Kathleen and Megan!

Mislene helps me everyday after class to clean by chalkboard. Have I mentioned how much I hate chalk and chalkboards?

I would like to thank you for your prayers, not only for me physically, but spiritually as well. The devil is alive and well here, as always, and he loves to try and get me down, depressed, and distracted by things that should not be occupying my time, mind, or heart. However, God reminds me daily of why I am here in Haiti. It always comes back to the kids. We cannot and will not save all of the children in Haiti. That is not our job. However, we can only help those that God puts in front of our eyes. A quote I love to be reminded of says, "Do for one, what you wish you could do for all of them". That is exactly the way I feel about the children here at Christian Light School, both in the children's home and the school. We can make a difference for each of them. Maybe not the same difference in each of their lives, but we can have an impact on them for the good. My friend Megan painted this picture for us in devotion one night. Doing mission work is like putting together a puzzle. It has to be done piece by piece and not one piece is more or less important than any other piece. That is why we are doing. Putting in pieces of the puzzle that is the lives of the children we touch. I am most thankful every day that I am able to play a, albeit, minor role in their lives. I thank God for it every day. I know I have probably left out lots of things I wanted to say, but I've said it once and I'll say it again. You cannot remember and write about every precious, beautiful moment you have. There just aren't even hours in the day for it! :) Love you all. Please continue to pray as summer school progresses!

Ashleigh


PS: Katy Harris left today too. We are all reeeaaaaallllly going to miss her! We love you Katy!

The one and only Katy Harris. This was our last visit to our oasis (the coffee shop) and our last time running for our lives across airport road. 

Happy July 4th!

Kervenson, Yyvenson, Gyvenson, Vidlon, and Patrick after their last day of VBS with the Kansas team. They had so much fun. We are thankful for the many groups that come in and invest time with our children!